Bonding With Extended Family - Mom's Diaries

Given the fractured nature of our urban living, with most families going nuclear and with a single child, it becomes imperative for parents to ensure that they keep in regular touch with the extended family and ensure that their children have a sense of family and bonding with all members of the family, no matter how far flung.

Thankfully travel is much more convenient these days and technology has brought voice and face chats into every home to make connecting so much easier.

Here are some tips on how you could help your children feel connected and a part of a larger family without needing to shift homes or live as a great big joint family.

Use technology to your advantage:?Social networking sites are the best way to keep in touch with extended family, to show children pictures of the extended family and to get to be able to put a face to the name. Create a family googlegroup where you can all chat and communicate and share news without having to email each person individually. Facebook, googlegroups and skype are all great tools you can use to your advantage. If your siblings have little children, set up skype dates so that your child can connect with his or her cousins. Try to set up skype conversations once every few days with aunts and uncles and grandparents if they live in different cities.

Make one vacation a year a family gathering:?Gather in one city or destination as an entire family and make sure everyone gets the chance to do fun things together. Plan a joint trip or a group holiday together to an exotic destination, or take a trip to the village or native place to let the younger generation see where they came from and to let the elders in the family reminiscence about their childhood. Every child needs a sense of origin and these trips back to the places their grandparents came from do just that. Or plan an action holiday like a camping or a trekking trip that helps adults connect and bond with the younger generation by doing things together.

Special occasions: Ensure you go for family weddings, celebrations like golden wedding anniversaries or silver wedding anniversaries, births and deaths. Even if it means inconveniencing yourself in the midst of a work week or if it means spending that much on travel and stay if this happens in different cities. Going to family gatherings gets the children to recognize everyone in the extended family and lets them get a chance to interact with them.

Make sure you have your child call up to say thank you after receiving anything sent by courier or via parcel by any member of the extended family, or call up and greet as many of the family as possible on festive occasions and on birthdays and anniversaries. Not only does this teach the kids a sense of manners but also creates a sense of family.

Time with grandparents: No matter how busy you are in the course of the week or the year, ensure that your children spend adequate time with their grandparents. Our kids are losing out on the bonding between grandparent and grandchild because of the growth of the nuclear family system and the migration to cities, and the lessons a child can learn from a grandparent are irreplaceable. Make a vacation with grandparents at least a couple of times a year, even if just for a few days, mandatory. Ensure your child speaks often to his or her grandparents telephonically, or over skype. Have the child create cards, write letters and make things for their grandparents and courier those across.

And finally, make sure you keep your personal prejudices out of the way and let the children develop their own equation with every member of the extended family. Don?t try to influence or prejudice their opinions about the person, no matter how strong an opinion you hold about them. Teach your children to be respectful to every member of the family they interact with and be respectful yourself too, as a role model.

Tags: bonding, family, grandparents

Source: http://www.momsdiaries.in/features/bonding-with-extended-family

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